Tribute to Good Villains
by Reminisce X
Summary: From maniacal laughter to ridiculous outfits, this is every villains' guide on how to be the best in the business! Slightly cynical. Read and review please!


**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of the characters from Teen Titans, nor do I own Slade, or any of the other characters mentioned. **

**Summary: From maniacal laughter to ridiculous outfits, this is every villains guide on how to be the best in the business.**

**Note: Personally, I think Slade is pretty much the greatest villain ever created. He's mysterious, cunning, and oh so deliciously evil. I've never seen another villain quite like him before. But I was really disappointed with his character in the fifth season (mostly when he was killed off and then brought back) so I created this little rulebook about what makes a really good villain. **

**Tribute to Good Villains**

A good villain……

Should never break out into maniacal laughter. It makes him less intimidating, and easier to laugh at.

Should never wear brightly colored clothing.

Should never explode in anger. It just doesn't make him that scary if he can't keep his cool.

Should never boast about his plot to "take over the world" countless times to his enemies. But more importantly he should never boast about his plot to himself. That's just plain weird.

Should never, EVER talk in a high-pitched, screechy voice. Again with the seriousness thing…..

Should never talk too much. Like Slade, a good villain is way more threatening if he's not a chatterbox with a million and one things to say (most of which that probably revolve around an alleged scheme to take over the world anyway).

Should limit their appearances. Honestly, how fun is it fighting the same guy every single day? We really don't want another notorious Team Rocket on the scene now, do we? DO WE??!!!

On that note….villains should never even _consider_ having ridiculous theme songs, mottos, or catch phrases.

And again…villains should never rhyme. It's just a plain crime. Ha ha……

Villains should never argue with the heroes.

"You're dumb."

"No I'm not"

"Yes, you are."

NO, I'm NOT!! Stop it!! ….Mommy…."

Should never reuse monsters. Repairing it with some Elmer's glue and a new gadget here and there is not going to make it any better. If it doesn't work the first time, it's not going to work again!

Should never dialogue their actions, or their thoughts. (coughcough Yuh-Gi-Oh, coughcough).

SHOULD. NEVER. SIDE. WITH. THEIR. ENEMIES!!!! FYI, I still haven't forgiven Slade for that little maneuver in The End.

Should never die. What's the fun in having a really good villain if you just suddenly kill him off, it removes all suspense, all mysteriousness, and all appeal of the show, and usually only leaves the writers with a few (shudder) horrendous options. Like…..

Bringing them back from the dead!!!! Villains should never come back from the dead! If they're dead, then it should be left at that. Reviving a villain, and no less, making him IMMORTAL, defeats the whole purpose of having a villain in the first place. Why continue fighting someone if you know they are invincible? There's just no point.

Should conceal all emotions.

Should not exhibit weaknesses.

Should not be fat, pudgy, or bald.

Should not brandish weapons as a means of taking down their adversaries. Wouldn't you rather be defeated by a villain's own brute strength, than be defeated by a gun that any ordinary civilian can obtain?

Should not scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO," in a long, desperate echo when they have been defeated. Does anybody seriously do that?

Should not cuss. Composure and self-control are key when you are a good villain.

Should not carry around cronies, ladies, or work for a higher power. A good villain works alone, and is servant to no one.

Should not be old. I really, reaaalllllly do not want to fight a sack of bones, with sagging skin, and a scratchy voice, that nevertheless, can still kick my butt.

Should not be gargantuan in size. It just makes them more surreal.

Villains should never taunt their enemies, unless it's an intimidating taunt.

A good villain should never go soft! For crying out loud, he's _supposed_ to be EVIL!!!

**AND FINALLY**

Villains should be intelligent. Enough said.


End file.
